Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
