ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
