I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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