She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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