Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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