foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
