I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
