when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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