She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
