So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
