Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
