Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
