Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
