nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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