I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize