On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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