i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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