sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
