I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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