I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
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