please come you make the beer taste better
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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