you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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