his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
