Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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