When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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