i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
