I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
