It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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