someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
