guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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