I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
