So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize