I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
