You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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