Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
