he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
