Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
