i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
