If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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