i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Randomize
