I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
