Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
