awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
