You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize