Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
