Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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