something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
