Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
