That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
