I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
