Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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