therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Randomize
