I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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