from now on my penis is your penis
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
