i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
