Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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