So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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