I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
