Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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