So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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