Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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