am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
It was confusing and full of hummus
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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