So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
