just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Your tits are I can't wait for
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Randomize
