I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
