Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
my being single is dangerous.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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