Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize