she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
